CEO of My Own Life
Do you ever get upset with yourself, for being upset? There have been times when I became so upset with myself for being upset, that I couldn’t even stand myself. I literally wanted to run away from myself. In those moments, I found myself wondering, “What has happened to me?” During high school and college, I was so easygoing, happy, excited, and always the person with the loudest and most contagious laugh. Over the years, my laughter gradually disappeared. In front of an audience, I still put on the appearance of someone who was happy and bubbly. But it was getting harder and harder to fake it. I tried to convince myself that my life included everything I had always dreamed about. But deep down, I knew that I needed to shift the direction of my boat: I was heading toward the wrong port. As my boat got closer to the wrong port, my spirit diminished. I was losing clarity, self-esteem (a story for another blog), and most importantly, I was losing myself. I was living a life that did not give credit to my true nature. I was denying my soul’s potential.
Deep in our hearts, we know when we need a course correction—but the problem is that we are scared of rocking the boat. Rocking the boat would mean speaking out, being vulnerable, standing up for our beliefs, making some tough changes, facing the truth—all of which is hard enough without having to fight our own desires for comfort and contentment in the face of challenge and change. We prefer things to be familiar and safe, although they don’t feel right, rather than having to face the unknown on the path of growth and self-improvement. So, we wait and we wait, hoping that, with time, somehow the boat will right its own course—until someone or something else ultimately capsizes our boat (and our life). I knew I needed to change course. I waited for a long time, hoping and praying that the course would self-correct. But it didn’t, and right before last Christmas, my boat was flipped upside down.
It took every fiber of my being to go on with my life. With faith and determination, I righted my boat—and returned it to its proper course. It was truly the hardest time of my life, but in hindsight, I am so grateful for the circumstances that put me on the right course because let’s face it, I’d have waited until I had no spirit and no fight left in me. I made a pledge to myself to do everything in my power so that others who are faced with similar circumstances will have a life raft to cling to while they’re righting their boats and getting themselves up and out of the sea. There are some parts of my boat that are broken and can never be repaired, but they can eventually be replaced with new and better ones. I would like to tell you from my heart—I am so thankful and so blessed for MY RETURN. I wouldn’t trade anything to be back on my previous path. My new path is too exciting, too full of hope, and too full of my dreams to give it up for something I am not.
If you feel that your boat is not heading toward the right port, you don’t have to wait like I did until a storm flips your boat upside down. Also, shifting the boat in the right direction doesn’t have to be a huge or dramatic move. It could be something like searching for a new seminar or class, purchasing a book on a topic of interest, or starting a new health or wellness routine. Truly, anything can begin the process of changing your course. Right now, at this very moment, you can start by ceasing to dismiss your dreams, ideas, and intuitions. Ignore the outside voices and, rather, pay attention to your inner voice, which will help you to return to the path for which you were created.
“A new life demands new choices. And one of the greatest choices you will ever make is to take your joy seriously, at least as seriously as your pain.”
I would love to hear from you - What changes are you going to make today, in order to begin your own course correction and become CEO of your own life?